by Katie Bogusz on October 17, 2017

An abusive relationship occurs when a partner asserts power over another to maintain control in the relationship. Abusive relationships can happen to anyone regardless of their sexual orientation, gender identity, and race. Keep yourself and others safe by knowing the signs of an abusive relationship and ways to get help.

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Am I in an Abusive Relationship?

Do you…

  • constantly feel put down and/or belittled?
  • feel afraid of your partner?
  • avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
  • feel scared to bring them around friends or family?
  • feel that you can’t do anything right in the relationship?
  • wonder if you’re the one who is crazy?
  • feel emotionally numb or helpless?
  • lack control of your own finances and belongings?

Does your partner…

  • humiliate, criticize, and yell at you?
  • ignore your opinions and accomplishments?
  • blame you for their unhealthy behavior?
  • have a bad and unpredictable temper?
  • threaten to hurt or kill you?
  • threaten to commit suicide if you leave?
  • destroy your belongings out of anger?
  • act excessively jealous/possessive?
  • constantly check up on you?
  • require access to your phone and social media accounts
  • isolate you from friends/family


It is Still ABUSE if…

  • you’ve experienced incidents of abuse that seem “minor”. Every form of violence is serious and unacceptable.
  • the physical abuse only happened one time. If it’s happened once it could happen again.
  • the abuse seems to decrease when you become passive, stop expressing yourself, stop making decisions, and/or stop going out with friends. You shouldn’t have to give up your rights as a person to avoid abuse.
  • you are emotionally and verbally assaulted on a regular basis. Abuse is not explicit to physical harm only.

Tips for supporting a friend

  1. Let your friend know that you are concerned about their safety and that you want to help.
  1. Listen and validate their feelings.
  1. Learn about campus resources and encourage them to seek help.
  1. Be supportive of his or her decisions.

I’m in an abusive relationship, What should I do?

  1. Plan a safe breakup. Create a safety plan which is a written personalized plan to ensure that you remain safe when leaving an abusive relationship. The SVAS Center can connect you with the professionals who can assist you.
  1. Keep track of previous incidents, evidence, and/or threats.

3. Don’t be afraid to seek help on campus or talk to your support            systems. It is not your fault and you don’t have to go through              this alone.


  1. BSU Sexual Violence Advocacy and Support Center (508)-531-2048
  2. BSU Counseling Services (508) 531-1331
  3. New Day– Provides free counseling and advocacy to all individuals impacted by sexual and relationship violence. (508) 941-7400, (508) 588– 8255 (24 Hour)  http://healthimperatives.org/anewday/new-day


National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 / www.thehotline.org


National Dating Abuse Helpline 866-331-9474

SafeLink (Massachusetts Hotline) 877-785-2020

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